


Panic Attack

by LandonRichardson



Series: the 'Jealousy' saga [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Hurt Danny "Danno" Williams, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Steve, preotective Kono, protective Chin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3277118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LandonRichardson/pseuds/LandonRichardson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny never suffered from panic attacks until Steve waltzed into his life…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sometimes I hate you

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m not quite sure where this story has come from, maybe it’s because I’ve woken up feeling peeved and so my mind latched onto a story where I could work that feeling out or maybe it’s just because a part of me likes making Danny suffer.  
> I hate panic attacks and I especially hate when someone is the trigger and they know it and they still do stupid things which sets it off. It’s the worst feeling in the world and all you want to do is hide from everyone who has seen you in that state, but then you’re also furious at the person who caused it hence Danny’s reaction.  
> Anyway please enjoy

Danny wondered whether Steve had any idea what it did to him every time he did some crazy stunt that might get him killed?

How every single time without fail it caused him to descend into a panic attack, his chest would tighten painfully, he’d feel starved of air, he’d break out into a sweat and be hit with such a strong wave of nausea that it was all he could do to stay upright on his feet. The first time it had happened he had thought he had been dying though a quick visit to see Malia in the ER had assured him that he was extremely healthy for his age though he could do with a healthier diet.

It hadn’t taken him long to see the correlation between his panic attacks and Steve’s stupid stunts. The stupider the stunt the longer the panic attack lasted for and the more that Danny resented Steve for being the one to cause his discomfort and pain. Not that he ever planned to tell Steve that, the man was a marshmallow beneath his hard shell, if he had known then he would start watching Danny even more then he already did and Danny didn’t think his sanity could stand that.

Instead he had confided in Chin.

He had never planned to but he needed to tell someone before he went insane and Chin had seemed the best option especially as the older man had found him mid panic attack at a crime scene after Steve had jumped into the ocean after a suspect, a shark infested ocean at that. The older man had been comforting, remaining quiet simply rubbing Danny’s back as he wheezed, trying to remind himself that Steve was once again fine and whole with barely a scratch on him.

It had strangely brought Danny and Chin closer together as friends and they had started hanging out after work more, something which didn’t seem to please Steve if the look on his face was anything to go by when Danny told him repeatedly that he couldn’t come round for a beer and steaks because he already had plans with Chin. Chin must have told Kono about his panic attacks as well because whenever Chin wasn’t there, the Rookie would appear by his side making sure he wasn’t alone during his attack.

He had the suspicion that Chin had told Steve as well though he wasn’t a hundred percent positive, he hadn’t told Chin not to tell anyone but he had hoped that the older man had known that he didn’t want Steve to know. All he knew was that the two of them had gone off for lunch one day and when they had returned Steve had been quiet as though he had something on his mind and had locked himself into his office. After that he had almost been careful with the stunts he would do and when he did one, he would automatically look towards Danny as though he was checking to see if he was okay. Danny was swiftly growing to hate that look.

Things had been going good; Danny hadn’t had a panic attack in six weeks and had been beginning to think that they had passed when it had suddenly struck, taking him completely by surprise. Steve had jumped off of a roof after a suspect, disappearing from sight and yet it had been Danny who felt as though he had been punched in the chest, driving the wind from his lungs leaving him struggling though he had done his job, the same as he always did. It was only when he had cleared the area of any potential suspects that he had focused on it.

It was worst this time round, perhaps because of the break from it and it hurt, Jesus it hurt, freaking him out even though he tried not to let it get to him. Danny had stumbled back, his back hitting a wall, rubbing at his chest as he focused on his breathing, trying to keep it steady like Malia had told him to. He wasn’t sure how long he had been there before he felt a hand on his shoulder and Chin talking quietly to him. He focused on the words realising Chin was trying to reassure him, telling him that Steve was okay, that he wasn’t hurt in anyway and had landed on one of the balconies beneath them and that the suspect was already in custody. Danny tried to force the words into his brain, to latch onto them but it was difficult to hear anything over the roaring in his ears.

“Breathe, breathe, breathe” His mind chanted at him though it didn’t seem to work, his mind determined to replay the scene of Steve jumping over the roof top, Imagine a different scenario to the one Chin had described to him. He knew Kono was next to him as well on the other side, blocking him off from any curious eyes, anyone who looked over at them would merely assume the three of them were discussing something together rather then protecting Danny.

“Danno” he heard a voice call to him sharply before his hand was wrenched away from his knee and placed against a chest instead, allowing him to feel a heart beating strongly beneath his palm. “It’s okay, just follow my breathing Danno.”

Danny blinked, following the instruction. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there before he felt controlled enough to lift his head and look at Steve, meeting his concerned hazel-blue eyes. He blinked his eyes flickering to the side of Steve to see both Chin and Kono mirroring Steve’s look.

Shame washed over him as he snatched his hand away from Steve’s chest and glared at him.

“You know what McGarrett” he said hating how weakly his voice came out. “Sometimes I fucking hate you. I’m going home; you can do without me for the rest of today.”

Ignoring the flash of pain his words seemed to cause Steve he turned and headed to his car, pulling the driver’s door open and getting in, he allowed himself one moment to breathe in before he started the car and drove away from the crime scene.


	2. I bought dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Steve realise a few things…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here’s the end of the story, just a nice small one!  
> This chapter is a bit fluffy but I’m feeling ill today so I just want something to make myself feel better. Today is going to be a writing day so you might see more of me today. My goal is to update all my stories but we’ll see how long that last.  
> I suffer from the odd panic attack and the aftermath is always difficult and long lasting, exhaustion is the worst so having a routine is always a good thing I find, just small things like having a cup of tea or something. I don’t believe panic attacks make a person weak, I think it’s just a fact of life that some people have to deal with.  
> Anyway please enjoy the story and thanks for picking the story to read.

Steve stood frozen for a moment, staring after Danny’s car as it pulled away from the kerb, his eyes wide at the reaction Danny had, had. He could still hear Danny’s words echoing around his head, making him shiver at the thought of Danny even disliking him slightly.

He had to make this right, explain to Danny that there had been no other option available for him to take. He had known the general layout of the hotel so he had known about the balconies beneath them. If he hadn’t of taken the risk then their suspect in a triple homicide would have been gone and they would have been screwed, probably never finding the guy until he struck again, taking another life. It was a risk he couldn’t afford to take not when people’s lives were at stake.

He swallowed, his mind replaying the scene of coming back to the roof and seeing Danny hunched over, Chin and Kono close to him, talking to him clearly trying to calm him down. His face had been pale beneath his tan and his eyes had been wide and dark as though he was seeing things that none of the rest of them could see. Steve had reacted without thinking, moving towards Danny and grabbing his hand, placing it against his chest, his palm was over Steve’s heart so Danny could feel that he was still alive and with him, whatever reaction he had been expecting it certainly hadn’t been the one which he had received.

Steve licked his lips nervously before he made a movement towards his truck, If he left now then he could reach Danny’s house within five minutes of him, hopefully before Danny shut him out and turned the high tech alarm system on, the same high-tech alarm system which Steve had, had installed while Danny had been away for a few days.  
He came to a stop when a hand suddenly gripped his elbow tightly, he looked round surprised to see that it was Chin holding him back, a look on his face which reflected his annoyance as clearly as though he had shouted the words out loud.

“Chin?” Steve demanded.

“Just leave him alone for a bit Steve” Chin responded. “If you go after him now then you’ll just make things worse, let him recover first and calm down and then go and see him, he’ll be more likely to let you in to talk if you do, if you go now then you won’t get anywhere and he’ll just get seriously pissed off instead of just being pissed off” The older man instructed. Steve bristled for a moment at the assumption that Chin knew his partner better than Steve did but he forced himself to push the feeling down.

“So what do you suggest? That I just leave him alone when he’s feeling rough?” Steve questioned, his free hand curling into a fist at his side, he saw Chin’s eyes flicker down to it briefly before he looked back up at him and spoke quietly.

“I’m suggesting you let Danny have a hour or two to himself before you go to him, you’re both upset at the moment and the last thing either of you need right now is an argument where you’ll say things neither of you mean. Just stay here and work the scene with us Steve.” Chin instructed. Steve breathed out nosily, yanking his elow out of Chin’s hold before he glared at the man.

“Fine” He said through gritted teeth. “Chin, stay here and oversee CSU, as soon as they find anything I want to know about it, Kono you’re with me. I think it’s time we took our free jumper back to headquarters and get some answers from him.” He told them, he saw them share a quick look with one another before they nodded.

“You got it boss” Kono said lightly.

Steve nodded, turning and heading towards his truck. The sooner he dealt with the case the sooner he could go and check on Danny.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Danny stared at the TV in front of him, barely paying attention to the Ice Hockey game he was watching. He had seen it before but there was something about it which soothed him, calming him down. He felt better now, weak and tired but better. Good enough that he felt almost guilty about telling Steve he sometimes hated him. He knew what his partner was like, the other man wasn’t going to change his ways and certainly not for Danny.

He leaned forward, snagging the mug of tea from his coffee table and taking a sip, normally he’d watch the game with a cool beer but after a panic attack he liked things to be a certain way, beer however pleasant couldn’t beat the memories of his mother bringing him a hot cup of tea whenever he had felt out of sorts with a cold or something similar, it was a habit which he had continued when he had come to Hawaii to live, a habit he tended to keep quiet from the others.

He twisted his head when he heard someone knock on his door, his eyes narrowing slightly before he sighed and came to his feet. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t been expecting the visit, he was only surprised that it had taken Steve this long to get there. He had almost expected to be barricading his door against the other man as soon as he had arrived home but instead hours had past. Part of him had been disappointed but the other part had been thankful, he had needed the time to get himself back together.

Placing the mug on the table he pressed the pause button on the remote and stood up, heading out of the room and down the hallway stopping outside the front door. He stared at it for a moment before he opened the door, staring at Steve who slowly lowered his fist from where he had been clearly about to knock again. Danny stared at him for a second, his eyes dropping to the large brown bag that Steve was holding. They were silent for a moment before Danny spoke.

“What’s in the bag?” Danny asked quietly, leaning against the frame of the door.

“Food from that place you liked, the one we found that… well you liked it, you said it reminded you of Jersey, figured you probably haven’t have eaten anything since this morning.” Steve said, lifting the bag up slightly. Danny breathed out nosily, searching Steve’s eyes for a moment and caught sight of the carefully concealed pleading look in them before he gave in and stepped back, waving a hand into the house.

“Well you best come in then before the food gets cold” He stated. Steve stepped into the hallway and passed the bag to Danny. “You having any?” He asked, raising an eyebrow when Steve nodded. Danny shrugged. “Go through to the living room then, I’ll be there in a moment.” He watched Steve move through his house, disappearing into the living room before he slowly made his way to the kitchen. He took the containers out of the bag, his mouth curling into a smile when he saw that Steve had gotten them burgers and fries. He placed the food on some plates, hesitating for a moment knowing that they would have to talk about what happened earlier.

He knew it would have happened eventually but he had hoped that it wouldn’t be so soon.

Grabbing a bottle of beer he picked the plates up and brought them into the room, passing Steve the bottle and one of the plates before he collapsed next to him on the sofa, pressing play again.

“You not having a bottle?” Steve asked.

“Nope” Danny answered, picking the burger up and taking a bite, moaning happily at the taste. This burger was the only thing he had found so far which reminded him of home. If he could get away with it then he would eat it all the time but he knew that Grace would somehow find out and he couldn’t bear the thought of the disappointed look she would give him.

“Look Danny about earlier I…” Steve began to say, stopping when Danny held his hand up, stopping him.

“Look I know what you’re going to say so just don’t bother okay? You’re going to apologise and then you’re going to say you’ll try to be better and we both know it’s not going to happen because it’s not who you are or who you’ve been trained to be so let’s just accept for the sake of my sanity that this will happen again, the same way it’s happened before.” Danny stated, keeping his gaze on the TV.

“Danny” Steve said “We need to talk about this.”

“Talk about what exactly?” Danny demanded, eyes narrowing slightly on the screen.

“The fact you get a panic attack when…”

“When you do something stupid or suicidal?” Danny interrupted. “Of course I do you asshole, I care for you and you’re just determined to throw your life away. Yes I understand that it’s our job but strangely enough the rest of us can do our job without trying to kill ourselves.”

“The suspect would have gotten away, he would…”

“He would have jumped straight into Kono’s waiting arms because we had already covered every single exit he could use because we knew he would run. It’s what we do Steve but you didn’t bother to actually think of that did you? Because you think you’re superman and that if you don’t react them somehow the bad guys will escape. You don’t stop to think whether it’s dangerous or that you could be hurt or you could die or anything else, you don’t think about the people who love you who have to deal with everything because you just don’t think.” He ranted before he forced himself to stop and take a bite of his burger, chewing at it, noticing that Steve was silent. He swallowed, his eyes flickered to Steve to see him watching him closely.

“The people who love me” Steve repeated quietly causing Danny to snort even as he silently cursed himself for the slip up.

“Lots of people love you, Chin loves you, Kono does, Mary, Catherine, Joe… do I really need to go on Steve?” Danny commented, picking up a chip and biting into it.

“And what about you? Do you love me? I mean you’ve mentioned everyone else but you didn’t mention yourself” Steve questioned, his food forgotten. Danny swallowed hard, thinking about saving his pride but for once he pushed his nerves to one side, choosing the truth.

“Yeah because I just have panic attacks over everyone, of course I love you, you know I do” Danny told him, forcing his eyes back to the TV screen though he barely paid any attention to it. He almost jumped when Steve placed his plate of food on the table and wrapped his arm around Danny’s shoulder. Danny stiffened for a moment before he relaxed against Steve, a smile quirking his mouth when Steve twisted his head and kissed him on his temple.

“I love you too Danny” He said softly.

“Love me or love me like a friend?” Danny asked

“I love you” Steve said quietly. Danny smiled, placing his own plate on the table and turned the TV off, getting slowly to his feet and looking down at Steve.

“I think it’s maybe time you show me and you know if you could try and stop trying to kill yourself so I can skip another panic attack for a while then I’d be more thankful then you know” He commented, stuffing his hands into his jeans pocket before he turned and headed out of the room, smiling when he heard Steve following him.

Maybe he could think of a better way to keep Steve busy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
